2 years on...

How co-incidental that I thought about my blog 2 years on from my last post? And strangely most of my friends who used to blog, have stopped doing so.

When firm becomes harsh becomes rude

Recently, there were a few episodes which got me riled. It pertains to parenting styles. I think there is no excuse for rudeness. Parents will claim they are being firm and some call it tough love. But really, is there any excuse for calling a child an idiot or calling them useless? And what do the child learn in the process other than that they are worthless. How does it help them not make the same mistake again? Why do we always treat people we love so unkindly? Being a parent means we have to be responsible for our behaviour and speech.

I feel very sorry for the child. The hurt is more than a bruised ego, it's the perceived truth of what a parent says.

I aspire...

I have an email box that is labeled as "Happy Emails". This is the box I open when I'm down in the dumps at work. It reminds me that bad times don't last and good times exist. One email went to this box very recently. One of my staff (who is really more like a friend and colleague) left for greener pasture. He sent a farewell note to about 10 other colleagues in the section. I was surprised and very touched by what he wrote. And it also left me with a tinge of guilt,... because I feel so undeserving of his praise. I had been his supervisor for 3 years and frankly, I have always felt that I did him injustice. I did not mentor or groom him. I did not hand hold or provide much guidance. I was not a good "boss" at all. I was a friend. The intriguing thing is, his description is very accurate of a particular person I admire and aspire to be. And I do not think I'm even close to being where this person is, as a boss. Nevertheless, I was still touched that I had somehow, unknowingly, impacted him. I aspire to be what he has written, and hopefully more. Then, I'd feel I deserve the accolade.

Email from LT
Hui San: Boss!! I think you're the best boss anyone could hope for -your intense focus on common logic, irreverence for rules, genuine concern for subordinates, and that sincerity you exude just makes anyone feel at ease and not just open, but totally non-defensive. I realise now that if I ever were to be a boss, I'd aspire to be a boss like you. You are the personification of all the values we've learnt in theories about the perfect boss, and people get things done for you not because they have to, but because they want to. To put it more succintly in the terms of a speaker I heard before, "in times of war, under great duress, some soldiers would stick a knife into their commanders' backs when told to charge. Others would charge without question, because they trust their commanders." But besides being a boss, you're a great friend to have also.. keep in touch with Adel and me! We'll look forward to your updates on FB :D I sincerely wish you the best in your career and family life, and that Lucas will grow up to be like Vincent and Lyra will grow up to be like.. you? (No?)

I'm not rude

We had dinner with Edna and family on Saturday to celebrate Edna's daddy's scholarship. We went to this Japanese resturant, Nihon Mura, at Level 2 of IRAS. Good food at reasonable price. Sushi plates off conveyor belt is at $0.99, beef Tepankaki set is at $14.00 and the Tako Sashimi is at only $6.50, the cheapest I had so far. The place is spacious enough for 4 little kids to roam around. I would highly recommend this place.

Halfway through dinner, Edna and Lucas had some argument as they always do and this is a short except of what transpired.

Lucas: (saying something rude)
Edna: Lucas, don't be rude okay?
Lucas: ... I'm not rude okay, I'm Lucas! (sniggers)
Edna: +_+"""

I thought that was a funny and quick retort. Very KL and very typical of him.

Random...

I realised I haven't posted in a while. Perennnial problem of all Singaporeans; no time.

Lots of changes this year already. Lyra promoted from Infant Care to Childcare, Lucas had a change of Childcare and is now with Lyra, I'll be having a change of workplace and jobscope in April. It's going to be a busy year and I hope a meaningful and rewarding one.

Now, I want to capture a couple of correspondences I had with Lucas recently which taught me 2 lessons.

Episode 1
End of Lucas's 1st day at Childcare
San: Lucas, how was your 1st day? Did you make any new friends?
Lucas: Good... I made 1 very nice new friend. She is very nice.
San: Oh, why is she nice?
Lucas: Because she wants to marry me.
San:... ... Oh... I see, and you want to marry her? (Lucas nods) So what's her name?
Lucas:... eh... I cannot remember.

Next morning at the Childcare
Future Daughter-in-law: Lucas, Lucas... you here!
Lucas: (Holding girl's hand) Mommy, this is the girl I want to marry.
San: (to the giggling girl) Hello! Nice meeting you. (To Lucas) So what is her name?
Lucas: (to the girl) Eh, what's your name?
san: +_+"""

Lesson: A rose by any other name, smells as sweet. Love the person for the way he/she is... look at substance, not form.

Episode 2
At 11pm, catching tail end of 'Titanic'.
San: Lucas, why don't you go to bed? You look very sleepy.
Lucas: I don't want. I want to finish watching 'Titanic'.
San: I can tell you the ending. Go sleep lah.
Lucas: Cannot.
San: Why?
Lucas: I must watch then I can tell my children the story next time when they ask me...
San: +_+"""

Lesson: Start with end in mind and you can accomplish much.

Suffer the little children... again...

I was infuriated and upset when I read the news of the child who went missing and was subsequently found murdered. This child stays at Kallang Bahru, a few blocks away from where I used to stay. If I had continued staying there, Lucas and him could have been friends and they would have played at the same playground.

I am furious why the child was reported missing only after 5 days he was taken. Didn't his family worry that he wasn't home on the 1st night, the 2nd, the 3rd? Why have a child only to abandon him to his own devices! And how could any one lay hands and harm a child! And when I see cases like that I really wish the very very worst death for such perverts... that they die a more horrible death and suffer worse pain and deeper fear than the children they had harmed.

At times like this, I seek to understand and make sense of the insanity. I borrowed my colleague's bible and prayed for strength and wisdom. I prayed for the young soul gone before his time and I prayed for forgiveness in my heart. And when I read the bible, I found this;

"So do not fear, for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God,
I will strenghten you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
...

Though you search for your enermies,
You will not find them.
Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all
For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear, I will help you." ISAIAH 41:3

What's in a name?

I was at Lucas's potential primary school to clock hours today. It's the P1 orientation and I was assigned to help register the kids. It was quite a mundane affair until some names had me in stitches. I wonder what were the parents thinking when they named their kids. And the poor kids who have to live with the names and its association, for life! Below are some really odd names.

- Strange male names: a set of twin brothers, Jammriod & Hammriod. Wonder if piles run in the family. Handy (I'm sure he will be a handy man), Hay (Hey, Hay!), Gaylim (erm, not for a boy?), Madthew, and finally, King.
- Strange female names: Dymetia, Isid (Is it?), Enide, Verginny (What???!!!), and my personal favourite Merlinal, the future wife of Merlion.

And these are Chinese kids. Why, parents, why? Then I recalled I wanted really unique name for Lucas, like Valdimir or Luthion. Luckily, I have a sane husband and colleagues who dissuaded me.