There was an article on Sunday Times about a group of enterprising mommies who set up a service to encapsulate the placenta so that mommies (and their newborns) can eat the placenta. They are a bunch of medical professionals and lab assistants.
I marvel at the idea and I applaud their innovativeness. There are many articles on the benefits of consuming placenta and just as many that says it is an urban myth. For me, I belong to the former. You see this in the animal kingdom. Cats (wild and domestics), dogs, deers, horses (mammals mostly) consume their placenta immediately after birth. So why not humans? And there are tons and tons of beauty products and health supplements that contains placenta from animals. Some people go as far as to inject "Yang2 Tai1 Shu3" (goat's placenta) into their body to rejuvenate their skin. If I'm going to eat and spread the placenta of a goat, then why not my own?
Sure, the initial thought is disgusting of course, but hey, if it comes in capsules... I don't mind. I guess my fear is mitigated by the fact that I did not see my own placenta when Lucas was born... but the idea is probably revolting for Vinc who actually saw it in raw form. To many, it is probably a form of cannibalism, except that you are cannibalising yourself. (Hmmm, the idea appeals to the very morbid side of me... :) )
Anyway, after reading the article and a careful 5-sec deliberation, I emailed the ladies to ask for their service. It will cost me around $250 to have the placenta processed and put into capsules. I'll let you know if it is a worthwhile investment when I'm done popping all the pills.
Tuesday 26 August 2008
Sunday 24 August 2008
Love me not this way...
Recently, when Lucas doesn't get his way or when he gets scolded for doing something wrong, he will tell me, "You say you love me, love me is not this way." Yes, he is emotionally blackmailing me already.
I have tried explaining to him, there are many ways to love someone and show love and discipline is one of them. I tell him I love him so I want him to know what is right and wrong and loving him doesn't mean he gets everything he wants. He is beginning to understand although that pet phrase still recurs.
I have tried explaining to him, there are many ways to love someone and show love and discipline is one of them. I tell him I love him so I want him to know what is right and wrong and loving him doesn't mean he gets everything he wants. He is beginning to understand although that pet phrase still recurs.
Chilli Padi
My hopefully-soon-to-be-delivered Lyra that is... She is small(er) according to the Doc's estimation. It will be good if she hits 3 kg at birth. But I'm sceptical. Lucas was 3.27 kg at birth and in all, I gained 10 kg. This time round, I gained only 7 kg so simple maths will tell you she should be much lighter.
But judging by her Wu2 Ying2 Jiao3 (No-Shadow-Legs), she is anything but a weak gal. I have began to dub her as Chilli Padi... She gave me contractions a few days back and it turned out that while I had contractions, there was no dilation. I was advised to rest, monitor and wait 24 hours... supposedly, Lyra would be arriving within that 24 hours. Well, 24 hours came and gone and another few more 24 hours came and gone... I'm quite frustrated with the waiting. Her kicks are not the nice, sweet butterflies in the stomach kinda of feeling that preggies get. She takes glee in jabbing me in my sides and ribs. At times, her jabs will literally make me jump, at times, I will gasp as if someone punched me in my stomach. I'm really not complaining, but I'm also not relishing in the discomfort either.
The thing is, I'm impatient to see her. I have waited so long for this little precious girl and I have been through so much worry, doubt and fear that something would happen to her (as with the previous 2 miscarriages) that I just want her out so that I know she is safe and sound. Until I see her with my own eyes and hold her in my arms, I don't feel that I'm able to protect her. Yes, illogical... yet, I can't help the negative thoughts.
Lucas has been wonderful. Each time I groan or go 'ouch', Lucas will carress my tummy and advise, "Lyra, don't kick too hard okay? Mummy pain pain." I have a feeling that as much as Lucas is a kick ass boy, Lyra will probably have him twirled round her thumb... I think she could probably be the bully of the 2...
For now, it is just a waiting game.
(Update on Kovan breakins: I realised I forgot to close the loop on this. The culprit's been caught. He is a resident! Which explains why he knows the place so well and could have accessed the apartments. He is a 31 year old unemployed Singaporean Chinese. He was caught when he used one of the credit cards he stole to purchase a Rolex. Anyway, our petition worked. We will be getting the grilles installed at the Dev's cost.)
But judging by her Wu2 Ying2 Jiao3 (No-Shadow-Legs), she is anything but a weak gal. I have began to dub her as Chilli Padi... She gave me contractions a few days back and it turned out that while I had contractions, there was no dilation. I was advised to rest, monitor and wait 24 hours... supposedly, Lyra would be arriving within that 24 hours. Well, 24 hours came and gone and another few more 24 hours came and gone... I'm quite frustrated with the waiting. Her kicks are not the nice, sweet butterflies in the stomach kinda of feeling that preggies get. She takes glee in jabbing me in my sides and ribs. At times, her jabs will literally make me jump, at times, I will gasp as if someone punched me in my stomach. I'm really not complaining, but I'm also not relishing in the discomfort either.
The thing is, I'm impatient to see her. I have waited so long for this little precious girl and I have been through so much worry, doubt and fear that something would happen to her (as with the previous 2 miscarriages) that I just want her out so that I know she is safe and sound. Until I see her with my own eyes and hold her in my arms, I don't feel that I'm able to protect her. Yes, illogical... yet, I can't help the negative thoughts.
Lucas has been wonderful. Each time I groan or go 'ouch', Lucas will carress my tummy and advise, "Lyra, don't kick too hard okay? Mummy pain pain." I have a feeling that as much as Lucas is a kick ass boy, Lyra will probably have him twirled round her thumb... I think she could probably be the bully of the 2...
For now, it is just a waiting game.
(Update on Kovan breakins: I realised I forgot to close the loop on this. The culprit's been caught. He is a resident! Which explains why he knows the place so well and could have accessed the apartments. He is a 31 year old unemployed Singaporean Chinese. He was caught when he used one of the credit cards he stole to purchase a Rolex. Anyway, our petition worked. We will be getting the grilles installed at the Dev's cost.)
Sunday 17 August 2008
My projects just completed and I finally have some time to do non-work stuff. So one of the things I did was to browse through the blogs I have in my favourite.
And I read Vinc's blog with a sense of guilt and twinge of sadness. I know it was a passing episode and like him, I too wonder if I'm a good parent. I never quite got bothered about what other parents or adults think ... but I have been such from young. I never quite bothered with the opinions of inconsequential others.
Lucas IS very sticky to me and recently he has been displaying tantrums like this. He's usually okay and will not push his limits but these days, he will test and stretch our patience. I put it down to sibling anxiety. I heard it from several friends who had their second, that the 1st born gets difficult on purpose to draw your attention. Recently, whenever he is upset or me upset with him, he will cry "I want mommy to love me"... I don't know what gave the impression I don't... I guess at the "ONLY" that he left out in that comment.
But what struck a guilt chord in me is that I have always thought I'm the only one who is concerned with being a 'good parent'. Somehow, I had always thought Vinc is be not too bothered and at times I seethed at why he isn't trying harder to be a better parent... My mistake. I should have known better that most, if not all, parents want to do a better job.
I can identify with his longing for a break... I too have been desiring a break for a long long time. But our responsibilities demanded that we place our needs second. And at the back of my mind, I think of how short Lucas's childhood would be and how fast it will be before I lose him to a world of distractions from friends, school, CCAs, exams and so on. And how fast, "I want mommy" will be replaced by "I want freedom", "I want my own life". I'm always guided by not wanting to regret not spending time that inevitably I neglected Vinc. I had of course expected that him being adult and Lucas's dad, would have shared the same view as me. Guess I had been wrong.
To realise I was mistakened by reading his blog... well... ouch... I wondered what went wrong, when and how. Conversations are short these days. As much as I want t0 initiate a conversation, it never went beyond the mundane. I long to share about I feel about parenting Lucas, and I will always end up sharing it with my ex-colleagues, instead of Vinc. Maybe he too had the impression that I knew what I was doing since I always had this "I know better than thou" attitude. But truth be told, I'm clueless. My ex-colleagues are bombarded with emails asking for views and advise on parenting. I deemed them better parents than me.
Vinc thinks he is 2nd priority... as much and as hard as I try,... Lucas demands more of my time. And I can split myself in only so many ways. I don't know how I can do better or cope better... some thing has got to give... I can only be a good mom or good wife... somehow, I never manage being both. People tell me, I need to also have time for myself and as Fandi Ahmad's wife said, "you must take care of yourself before you can take care of your family". I wonder how?
And I read Vinc's blog with a sense of guilt and twinge of sadness. I know it was a passing episode and like him, I too wonder if I'm a good parent. I never quite got bothered about what other parents or adults think ... but I have been such from young. I never quite bothered with the opinions of inconsequential others.
Lucas IS very sticky to me and recently he has been displaying tantrums like this. He's usually okay and will not push his limits but these days, he will test and stretch our patience. I put it down to sibling anxiety. I heard it from several friends who had their second, that the 1st born gets difficult on purpose to draw your attention. Recently, whenever he is upset or me upset with him, he will cry "I want mommy to love me"... I don't know what gave the impression I don't... I guess at the "ONLY" that he left out in that comment.
But what struck a guilt chord in me is that I have always thought I'm the only one who is concerned with being a 'good parent'. Somehow, I had always thought Vinc is be not too bothered and at times I seethed at why he isn't trying harder to be a better parent... My mistake. I should have known better that most, if not all, parents want to do a better job.
I can identify with his longing for a break... I too have been desiring a break for a long long time. But our responsibilities demanded that we place our needs second. And at the back of my mind, I think of how short Lucas's childhood would be and how fast it will be before I lose him to a world of distractions from friends, school, CCAs, exams and so on. And how fast, "I want mommy" will be replaced by "I want freedom", "I want my own life". I'm always guided by not wanting to regret not spending time that inevitably I neglected Vinc. I had of course expected that him being adult and Lucas's dad, would have shared the same view as me. Guess I had been wrong.
To realise I was mistakened by reading his blog... well... ouch... I wondered what went wrong, when and how. Conversations are short these days. As much as I want t0 initiate a conversation, it never went beyond the mundane. I long to share about I feel about parenting Lucas, and I will always end up sharing it with my ex-colleagues, instead of Vinc. Maybe he too had the impression that I knew what I was doing since I always had this "I know better than thou" attitude. But truth be told, I'm clueless. My ex-colleagues are bombarded with emails asking for views and advise on parenting. I deemed them better parents than me.
Vinc thinks he is 2nd priority... as much and as hard as I try,... Lucas demands more of my time. And I can split myself in only so many ways. I don't know how I can do better or cope better... some thing has got to give... I can only be a good mom or good wife... somehow, I never manage being both. People tell me, I need to also have time for myself and as Fandi Ahmad's wife said, "you must take care of yourself before you can take care of your family". I wonder how?
Wednesday 6 August 2008
Much ado about parenthood incentives
Every few years when the gov decides to introduce a slew of measures to boost fertility rate, there would be much griping from singles on how they are being discriminated and how they are overlooked by the government. Then it would proceed into a free-for-all parents and pregnancy bashing campaign.
For a few nights in a row, this has kept me awake. It was triggered by Sumiko Tan's article lamenting about the injustice of any parenthood measures and the onslaught of forum reply supporting her cause. I was kept awake because I was mentally drafting a letter to her... but I never got round to doing it yet so I'm having my discourse here.
In ST's article and the many forum letters that followed, many lamented about the inconvenience that parents and pregnancy posed to them... e.g. pregnant women had to go for check ups, then they are off to 3 months of maternity, leaving the colleagues to cover the duties and parents had to take children to see docs etc. My question is.. how often does a woman get pregnant in her working life? 1, 2 maybe 3 times in the entire career. That's 36 weeks. Now, how many times does a man go on reservist in his entire career? He would have to go for reservist EVERY YEAR for a stretch of 2-3 weeks. At times, reservist calling in twice a year (like one of my colleague). You do the Math. And if you have an unfit colleague, there is also RT which sees him knocking off at 4 pm. Who covers for them? I'm sure the load is shared, regardless if you are pregnant or parents. And what more, the 2 years of NS is compensated in pay. I'm sure the pain, literary, that women go through for childbirth is no lesser than what men went through for NS. And the opportunity cost is just as high. You don't hear parents heave a hue and cry about this.
And I absolutely disagree with what many said that pregnancy affects work quality. What absolute rubbish. I find myself working harder and longer because I feel the need to prove that I'm just as effective and productive pregnant or not. In fact, I work even faster and make sure I complete my projects, knowing that I'll be away for maternity leave. Maybe a small percentage might take advantage of their condition... but that's not restricted to pregnancy... bad work ethics is not caused by pregnancy!
The singles who wrote also lamented that they can't take leave during the hols because the leave is 'reserved' for parents. REALLY! Singles have 10 months in which they can clear their leave anytime! And they want t gripe about parents who can only take leave during the school hols... and do they really want to pay the peak season charges and face the crowd of tourists during those period??? I think not. Unlike singles, parents can't go for long stretch holidays anyway; singles can CHOOSE to take 3 weeks and scoot off in a flash. Parents need to plan, way in advance, pay more, book early and face the crowd. Come on, a little give and take?
The singles also lamented that they too have parents to feed and therefore need more tax rebates like parents. Doesn't that then make married parents have a double whammy? They too have their own parents, plus the children, sometimes plus the spouse's parents, siblings and others. Unlike singles who needs only to be responsible for themselves and their parents, married parents often have more dependents. Yes, singles are contributing to society... but so are working mothers. The gov policies are sound. They support those who work.
In any case, it is NOT that the gov favours and values parents or devalues singles... It is a pragmatic choice to support parenthood. The nation needs to replace itself to sustain a growing economy. So the gov needs to have more babies now because 20-30 years down the road, they will be the ones to grow the economy. By then, taxes is likely to go up because it would then need to support the mass of singles and childless marrieds who are probably past their economic viable years. So it is a pragmatic choice. It doesn't make economic sense to rebate the singles now because it will not help the economy in the long run.
So for the singles who kick up a fuss and cry foul, bear in mind of the future hands that will feed Singapore and don't bite the hands that will feed you.
For a few nights in a row, this has kept me awake. It was triggered by Sumiko Tan's article lamenting about the injustice of any parenthood measures and the onslaught of forum reply supporting her cause. I was kept awake because I was mentally drafting a letter to her... but I never got round to doing it yet so I'm having my discourse here.
In ST's article and the many forum letters that followed, many lamented about the inconvenience that parents and pregnancy posed to them... e.g. pregnant women had to go for check ups, then they are off to 3 months of maternity, leaving the colleagues to cover the duties and parents had to take children to see docs etc. My question is.. how often does a woman get pregnant in her working life? 1, 2 maybe 3 times in the entire career. That's 36 weeks. Now, how many times does a man go on reservist in his entire career? He would have to go for reservist EVERY YEAR for a stretch of 2-3 weeks. At times, reservist calling in twice a year (like one of my colleague). You do the Math. And if you have an unfit colleague, there is also RT which sees him knocking off at 4 pm. Who covers for them? I'm sure the load is shared, regardless if you are pregnant or parents. And what more, the 2 years of NS is compensated in pay. I'm sure the pain, literary, that women go through for childbirth is no lesser than what men went through for NS. And the opportunity cost is just as high. You don't hear parents heave a hue and cry about this.
And I absolutely disagree with what many said that pregnancy affects work quality. What absolute rubbish. I find myself working harder and longer because I feel the need to prove that I'm just as effective and productive pregnant or not. In fact, I work even faster and make sure I complete my projects, knowing that I'll be away for maternity leave. Maybe a small percentage might take advantage of their condition... but that's not restricted to pregnancy... bad work ethics is not caused by pregnancy!
The singles who wrote also lamented that they can't take leave during the hols because the leave is 'reserved' for parents. REALLY! Singles have 10 months in which they can clear their leave anytime! And they want t gripe about parents who can only take leave during the school hols... and do they really want to pay the peak season charges and face the crowd of tourists during those period??? I think not. Unlike singles, parents can't go for long stretch holidays anyway; singles can CHOOSE to take 3 weeks and scoot off in a flash. Parents need to plan, way in advance, pay more, book early and face the crowd. Come on, a little give and take?
The singles also lamented that they too have parents to feed and therefore need more tax rebates like parents. Doesn't that then make married parents have a double whammy? They too have their own parents, plus the children, sometimes plus the spouse's parents, siblings and others. Unlike singles who needs only to be responsible for themselves and their parents, married parents often have more dependents. Yes, singles are contributing to society... but so are working mothers. The gov policies are sound. They support those who work.
In any case, it is NOT that the gov favours and values parents or devalues singles... It is a pragmatic choice to support parenthood. The nation needs to replace itself to sustain a growing economy. So the gov needs to have more babies now because 20-30 years down the road, they will be the ones to grow the economy. By then, taxes is likely to go up because it would then need to support the mass of singles and childless marrieds who are probably past their economic viable years. So it is a pragmatic choice. It doesn't make economic sense to rebate the singles now because it will not help the economy in the long run.
So for the singles who kick up a fuss and cry foul, bear in mind of the future hands that will feed Singapore and don't bite the hands that will feed you.
Lucas the octopus
Lucas is at the age where he says the darnest things... you really don't know whether to laugh or cry... He is quite KL (like mom) so some of the things he said really makes you quite "dui"... Here are some recent examples...
Episode 1
Lucas hold on to biscuit in one hand and a 0.20 cent coin in the other.
HS: Lucas, you have to hold me hand. This is a carpark you know.
Lucas: I hold biscuit in this hand (lifts left hand) and 20 cents in this hand (lifts right hand). You think I octopus ah? I have 2 hands only LEH...
HS: ... ...
Episode 2
At the carpark. HS walking behind Lucas.
Lucas: MOMMMMIEEEEEE, you not holding my hand! This is a carpark you know? If I don't remind you, you must remind yourself! hiaz... (holding on to HS's hand)
HS: ... ...
Episode 3
Lucas with Granny on a sunny day
Granny: Wah.. so hot... Lucas walk in the shade. So hot. Later you fall sick.
Lucas: Noooo, you must walk in the sun. Sun gives you Vitamin D.
Granny: Where got Vitamin? I cannot see...
Lucas: That's why lah.. you didn't walk in the sun, no vitamin, now cannot see also...
Granny: ... ...
Episode 4
Lucas using metal spoon over the open flame of the stove.
HS: LUCAS! Cannot play with fire! Do dangerous. Do you want to burn the house down???
Lucas: Won't, mommy. It is metal. Won't burn... you see your pot also metal.
HS: ... ... yes, but metal is a god conductor.. it will get hot and burn your hands!
Lucas: Nooooo mommy.., won't. When it gets hot, I'll drop the spoon (demonstrate by dropping the spoon). See, won't burn!
HS: ... ...
Usually, the arguments or rather conversation last longer than these but I'm often left flabbergasted.
Episode 1
Lucas hold on to biscuit in one hand and a 0.20 cent coin in the other.
HS: Lucas, you have to hold me hand. This is a carpark you know.
Lucas: I hold biscuit in this hand (lifts left hand) and 20 cents in this hand (lifts right hand). You think I octopus ah? I have 2 hands only LEH...
HS: ... ...
Episode 2
At the carpark. HS walking behind Lucas.
Lucas: MOMMMMIEEEEEE, you not holding my hand! This is a carpark you know? If I don't remind you, you must remind yourself! hiaz... (holding on to HS's hand)
HS: ... ...
Episode 3
Lucas with Granny on a sunny day
Granny: Wah.. so hot... Lucas walk in the shade. So hot. Later you fall sick.
Lucas: Noooo, you must walk in the sun. Sun gives you Vitamin D.
Granny: Where got Vitamin? I cannot see...
Lucas: That's why lah.. you didn't walk in the sun, no vitamin, now cannot see also...
Granny: ... ...
Episode 4
Lucas using metal spoon over the open flame of the stove.
HS: LUCAS! Cannot play with fire! Do dangerous. Do you want to burn the house down???
Lucas: Won't, mommy. It is metal. Won't burn... you see your pot also metal.
HS: ... ... yes, but metal is a god conductor.. it will get hot and burn your hands!
Lucas: Nooooo mommy.., won't. When it gets hot, I'll drop the spoon (demonstrate by dropping the spoon). See, won't burn!
HS: ... ...
Usually, the arguments or rather conversation last longer than these but I'm often left flabbergasted.
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