My heart aches every time I read something like this in the papers. I don't understand how some people or worse, some parents, can treat defenseless children with such cruelty and brutality.
On Saturday, there was also an article about a little child dying at 1 years old because of a border strife in Myanmmar. She is just 1 of thousands dying of hunger, neglect and abuse.
At times when I read such reports, I wondered why God had allowed things like that to happen. I also wished I could do more to help and change the world, beyond just contributing money to World Vision. Then I grow frustrated at my own limitations and constraints.
Tuesday 18 November 2008
Wednesday 12 November 2008
Lyra's 1st day
Today, Lyra went to the infant care for the 1st time. And unlike the usual mornings, she was not as chirpy and responsive as before. She is quite a sensitive child so I think she had some inkling as to what's going on.
When we got to the infant care and I put her in her crib, she looked around very suspiciously. Attempts to make her smile were futile, which is quite rare. She usually smiles quite readily for granny and me. We left quite quickly as we could sense that the teachers would prefer to not have us around.
Unlike with Lucas's 1st day at the infant care, I felt the separation anxiety this time. I left the centre with a very heavy heart. Maybe because Lucas is a boy and I had expected him to be very adaptable, whereas for Lyra, I had a soft spot for her. Within 1 hour, I was missing her. I had originally intended to enjoy the 'off' day and go shopping, but in the end, I went home, mope around and did some house work before heading out to run errands. Then I went to pick Lucas up earlier than usual so that we could both go pick Lyra.
Lyra didn't look happy when we were there. The teachers claimed she didn't cry and that she adapted well. I knew it wasn't true. There were still tears glistening at the corner of her eyes and she looked very tired. She drifted to sleep the minute she was in my sarong. When we got home, she woke up and started crying. Her voice was hoarse. My heart broke. I think she must have cried and yelled the whole day to be carried. The teachers had also insisted on swaddling and having her sleep on her back (to reduce SID) but she has always been sleeping on her tummy since a couple weeks old! Granny and I carried, rocked and tried to soothe her. But the minute we put her down, she cried to be carried again. She didn't smile or babbled when we gave her her evening wipe down. That's usually her favourite and she is normally very responsive. But today, she is a different girl. She just stared very intently at us.
During bed time, as advised by the teacher, to get her used to swaddling and sleeping on her back, I swaddled her and put her to sleep on her back. She was clearly uncomfortable. I was expecting her to scream, like she usually does when uncomfortable. But all she did struggle a little and made some whimper. It's like her spirit broke. And my heart broke too. :( After almost 30 mins, she drifted off to sleep.
Today, I felt horrible. I felt bad about her hoarse voice and her having a rough day. I know she will eventually adapt and this is unlikely to hurt her much... but that knowledge doesn't do much to lessen the guilt I felt. Today, I felt that same guilt and heartache as the day I was forced to leave Lucas's crying outside TTSH's meeting room when it was clearly time to go home. Today, I felt like I'm the world's worst mom.
When we got to the infant care and I put her in her crib, she looked around very suspiciously. Attempts to make her smile were futile, which is quite rare. She usually smiles quite readily for granny and me. We left quite quickly as we could sense that the teachers would prefer to not have us around.
Unlike with Lucas's 1st day at the infant care, I felt the separation anxiety this time. I left the centre with a very heavy heart. Maybe because Lucas is a boy and I had expected him to be very adaptable, whereas for Lyra, I had a soft spot for her. Within 1 hour, I was missing her. I had originally intended to enjoy the 'off' day and go shopping, but in the end, I went home, mope around and did some house work before heading out to run errands. Then I went to pick Lucas up earlier than usual so that we could both go pick Lyra.
Lyra didn't look happy when we were there. The teachers claimed she didn't cry and that she adapted well. I knew it wasn't true. There were still tears glistening at the corner of her eyes and she looked very tired. She drifted to sleep the minute she was in my sarong. When we got home, she woke up and started crying. Her voice was hoarse. My heart broke. I think she must have cried and yelled the whole day to be carried. The teachers had also insisted on swaddling and having her sleep on her back (to reduce SID) but she has always been sleeping on her tummy since a couple weeks old! Granny and I carried, rocked and tried to soothe her. But the minute we put her down, she cried to be carried again. She didn't smile or babbled when we gave her her evening wipe down. That's usually her favourite and she is normally very responsive. But today, she is a different girl. She just stared very intently at us.
During bed time, as advised by the teacher, to get her used to swaddling and sleeping on her back, I swaddled her and put her to sleep on her back. She was clearly uncomfortable. I was expecting her to scream, like she usually does when uncomfortable. But all she did struggle a little and made some whimper. It's like her spirit broke. And my heart broke too. :( After almost 30 mins, she drifted off to sleep.
Today, I felt horrible. I felt bad about her hoarse voice and her having a rough day. I know she will eventually adapt and this is unlikely to hurt her much... but that knowledge doesn't do much to lessen the guilt I felt. Today, I felt that same guilt and heartache as the day I was forced to leave Lucas's crying outside TTSH's meeting room when it was clearly time to go home. Today, I felt like I'm the world's worst mom.
Tuesday 11 November 2008
Priority seat?
I blogged about how people no longer give up their seats sometime back when I was preggy. Recently, all the corner seats in trains have a priority seat sticker. I'm 'entitled' to have a priority seat since I have both Lyra and Lucas, not to mention the 'luggage' that we drag along.
But so far, I have hardly been offered a seat; not even if I were to make my pressence felt right in front of those inconsiderate people glued to these priority seats. Today, I was again left standing while the 2 ladies occupying those blasted seats just glanced at me and looked away. The guy next to them also looked at me, gave the ladies a nasty look and then looked away as it was none of his business.
Argh... I wouldn't have been so mad if the stickers weren't there... but to remain so obviously callous about their own bad behaviour simply leaves me speechless. And the guy seated next to them must have felt very self-righteous... but to me, he is just as bad. He could have given up his seat too. There is really no excuse for bad behaviour.
And to add insult to injury, I wasn't able to board the lift even though I was the 1st to queue up. I stepped aside to let the people out and when the lift was almost cleared, everyone else rushed in. I had Lyra with me so I didn't want to risk pushing with them. But I gave all of them a nasty look and said very loudly that they ought to be ashamed. The person closest to the door then stepped out. I thanked him and walked in. After that, everyone waited till I was out before rushing out.
What has become of simple courtesy and graciousness? These are educated professionals!
But so far, I have hardly been offered a seat; not even if I were to make my pressence felt right in front of those inconsiderate people glued to these priority seats. Today, I was again left standing while the 2 ladies occupying those blasted seats just glanced at me and looked away. The guy next to them also looked at me, gave the ladies a nasty look and then looked away as it was none of his business.
Argh... I wouldn't have been so mad if the stickers weren't there... but to remain so obviously callous about their own bad behaviour simply leaves me speechless. And the guy seated next to them must have felt very self-righteous... but to me, he is just as bad. He could have given up his seat too. There is really no excuse for bad behaviour.
And to add insult to injury, I wasn't able to board the lift even though I was the 1st to queue up. I stepped aside to let the people out and when the lift was almost cleared, everyone else rushed in. I had Lyra with me so I didn't want to risk pushing with them. But I gave all of them a nasty look and said very loudly that they ought to be ashamed. The person closest to the door then stepped out. I thanked him and walked in. After that, everyone waited till I was out before rushing out.
What has become of simple courtesy and graciousness? These are educated professionals!
Friday 7 November 2008
Land where dreams come true...
It was supposed to be a fun-filled 4 days in Hong Kong, comprising Ocean Park and DisneyLand. It was fun but not as much as I had expected. For a start, I missed Lyra much more than I thought I would. In fact, on the 1st night, I was starting to tear and had really wanted to go home. I called home every night and my mom told me Lyra adapted very well, even sleeping through the night,... but that was only while I was away. The minute I was back, she went back to waking for feeds. Guess she could smell the milk machine.Lucas and I went to Ocean Park on the 2nd day while Vinc went Hi-Fi scavenging. Ocean Park outing was off to a bad start. It was pouring cats and dogs when we arrived at Ocean Park. The ponchos I bought were scarcely able to keep us dry. It was miserable as Lucas was really looking forward to it. The rides in the Kidsworld were cancelled, the games stalls were practically closed and the shows were also cancelled. So we walked around in the rain looking for stuff to do and in the end, decided to just skip the Kidsworld, take the cable car and head for lunch.
The cable car ride was about 20 mins and the view was great. I'm not a fan of heights so I didn't enjoy it as much as Lucas did. He had a good time gloating over my fear and poking fun at me. Then we took a long leisurely lunch. For once, I need not hurry Lucas to eat his meal and he seems to enjoy the food more. Thankfully, the rain stopped after lunch. We caught the Raging River raft ride and some sedentary merry-go-rounds. The rest of the rides are for teens and adults. The highlight is probably the 4 storey high aquarium. It had a good selection of big fishies and was an eye-opener for Lucas.
One of the things that really got me was the place was meant to be kids friendly but all the displays were out of their line of sight so I had to carry Lucas for most of them. That was quite tough as Lucas is now 17 kg. US aquariums are a lot more friendly with 2 view holes- one for kids and one for adults.
Frankly, having seen the aquarium in Monterey Bay, California, I haven't seen anything that matched the quality and quantity of display. Even Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta didn't match up.
We went to DisneyLand the next day. Compared to Tokyo Disney Land, I think Tokyo's better. HK's had very limited rides that were fun and exciting. I think the best age to go would be 3-4 years old. Older kids would have found it a bore. Girls who are into princessy things would probably like it too. Only a few rides and shows were really worth the dough; Lion King's Festival Musical was awesome, Mickey's 3D Magical show was 1 of the best 3D shows I watched, Stitch Encounter was quite entertaining and the River Cruise was not too bad. Lucas enjoyed himself and was so tired out the 1st day that he missed the booming parade that went by.
We had a 2-day pass but spent only 1.5 days there. I think 1.5 days is about right, allowing you enough time to explore and take some repeated rides. 1 day would have been a bit rushed.
The 4 days went by quickly but I was glad to be home to see Lyra. I told Lucas that we will go back to DisneyLand again when Lyra is 3 years old. Maybe we could head for a more exciting DisneyLand then. :)
More pics here.
Sunday 2 November 2008
Direct from the airport @ 0700 hrs
Lucas, Vinc and myself will be boarding the plane in another 30 mins and since I have some time on hands, thought I'll do a quick entry.
The 3 of us will be heading to Hong Kong for a 4 day fun-filled tour of Ocean Park and Disney Land. The trip is meant to allow us some private time with Lucas. With the arrival of Lyra, it is inevitable that Lucas might feel a bit neglected so this trip will allow him some undivided attention.
Since Lyra is only 6 weeks, I had thought it wouldn't pose much of a problem to leave her with my mum, and a big storage of BMilk. At 6 weeks, babies generally do not have any attachment or recognition of their main care givers. I was wrong.
Last night, Lyra had a tough time adjusting. She obviously knows granny is not mummy and cried very pitifully. She also rejected the milk bottle. After almost 2 hours of crying, she drifted off to sleep, only to wake up 1 hour later. Again, she rejected attempts to bottle feed her. Sigh... we had assumed that since she is okay with the bottle in the day, she would be okay at night. :( I felt horrible. Every cry tug at me and I had to control my tears.
Then my mom had an idea. She tossed one of my well-worn t-shirt over her shoulder and immediately, Lyra calmed down. The smell must have been familiar and soothed her.
Anyway, I hope and pray that she will adjust well. More updates again when I'm back.
The 3 of us will be heading to Hong Kong for a 4 day fun-filled tour of Ocean Park and Disney Land. The trip is meant to allow us some private time with Lucas. With the arrival of Lyra, it is inevitable that Lucas might feel a bit neglected so this trip will allow him some undivided attention.
Since Lyra is only 6 weeks, I had thought it wouldn't pose much of a problem to leave her with my mum, and a big storage of BMilk. At 6 weeks, babies generally do not have any attachment or recognition of their main care givers. I was wrong.
Last night, Lyra had a tough time adjusting. She obviously knows granny is not mummy and cried very pitifully. She also rejected the milk bottle. After almost 2 hours of crying, she drifted off to sleep, only to wake up 1 hour later. Again, she rejected attempts to bottle feed her. Sigh... we had assumed that since she is okay with the bottle in the day, she would be okay at night. :( I felt horrible. Every cry tug at me and I had to control my tears.
Then my mom had an idea. She tossed one of my well-worn t-shirt over her shoulder and immediately, Lyra calmed down. The smell must have been familiar and soothed her.
Anyway, I hope and pray that she will adjust well. More updates again when I'm back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
