Ooo, I make it look so easy...

Last Sunday I received a compliment from a neighbour I do not know. She stays at the next block on the ground floor. I was heading home with Lyra and hubby (Lucas was at a class) and we passed by her house. She said hello and commented that she really admired me. That she was impressed at how I would carry Lyra and pull Lucas along when we head out, without any extra help. She said very few parents in this era would do that.

I should be proud of myself. :) It is not the first time someone told me this. One of my friends had once commented that I 'pressurised' her cos I make it look so easy and yet she didn't find it easy at all to cope with her kid. She was practically under house arrest by her baby. And she admitted that she got quite sick of me telling her that she is capable of bringing the baby out and that it wasn't difficult. She had found it insurmountable. Needless to say, she seldom dates me.

I guess I made it look easy. At times I feel the same fear about how I will manage. Some times many thoughts of "what ifs" will haunt me just before I make a journey out. But I didn't want to be housebound and 'what ifs' is really not my style. I like to "just whack and see how". In a way, it's good cos I'm learnt not to be stressed about bringing the kids out or if I need to be alone with them. I think far too many parents sweat the small stuff. Go with the flow,... what's the worst? Like one of my friends shared, at most, the kid goes home with a diaper full of shit. She brings only 1 diaper change and at times completely forgets to bring any.

I think this phylosophy applies to work and life as well. Why worry about the 'what ifs'? There's no way to anticipate all pit falls so just whack lah.

Neither friend nor colleague

I have a penchant for putting my foot in my mouth. Some how things come out bad even with my best intentions. Not too long ago when I got promoted, I wanted to show some appreciation to some colleagues who weren't from my section. They weren't exactly so close that I would call them good friends. So instead of a lunch treat (which is for very close friends), I bought chocolates. In an effort to explain why I bought them chocolates, I said to one of them, that she "was neither friend nor colleague... that she belongs to somewhere in between... hence the chocs and no treat". My colleague was big-hearted and gave me a knowing look and said she understood. On hindsight, I realised how bad that sounded. I should have said that she meant more than just a colleague to me, hence I would like to share my joy with them... how much nicer that sounds.

Then 2 days ago, this incident came up as a converstion. My colleague asked me why I draw such a fine distinction between friends and colleagues. Well,... maybe I am anal about it. I classify friends as people I could count on when I'm in trouble, people I would not hesitate to cry infront of or to speak my mind without fear of being judged. Thus, I do not have many friends. Of course some colleagues are nice and I am not distant from them, but they are still not so close as to make me feel comfortable about ringing them up at 3am if I have a problem. Then I came up with this term to describe colleagues who are slightly more than colleagues but short of being a close friend. I call them "frileague"; an apt term I thought... untill you say it real fast and it sounds like "freak". Ha ha ha.