Recently, I was introduced to a blog belonging to friend of my hubby's. She is a working mother of a 3 year old girl and her blog revolves around her parenting experience. She is a heck of a dedicated mother, at least by my definition, and she has very high expectations of herself as a mom.
In her blog about her daughter's birthday, I was moved the amount of effort and thought that went into the planning. At the same time, it set me thinking... The blog ended with how she felt being "lesser of a parent" because the cake she had badly wanted didn't turn out the way she expected. While I can see why she is disappointed, I thought we should all be kinder and less demanding of ourselves. Yes, we all set out to be great parents... but really, will a less-than-perfect birthday party make us less of a parent? I don't think so.
I'm glad I could laugh at myself for stumbling (literally) with Lucas's birthday. I fell flat with the cake and as a result, the cake was a pretty (not literally) mess. And I was glad I could laugh about how silly and clumsy mommy was. Because through that Lucas learnt that life really shouldn't be taken too seriously sometimes. He didn't make a fuss of the ex-cake, and was just as happy and beaming when he blew out the candles.
Point is, parenting is a tough job and life is not always nice and sweet. We can afford to be kinder to ourselves and in the process teach our kids, that things don't always work out to plans. That, in adversity and 'shitty situations', one must look ahead and plod on... and perhaps laugh along the way. It is a vital skill. When a child is taught that failure is part of life and it doesn't mean failure as a person, they would be more apt at taking risks, accepting failures and trying again.
If I had a chance to turn back the clock, would I choose the perfect birthday or an opportunity to teach Lucas about life? I would choose the latter.
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