Kiasu?

Off late, I have been labelled as a 'Kiasu Parent'. It all stemmed from a workshop that I wanted to enrol Lucas in. The programme helps identify the learning style of a child, develops the strengths and addresses the weaknesses. The programme doesn't come cheap. It is a four-figure cost spanning some 3-5 months.

And the reason why Lucas is enrolled in it is because I had long suspected that he has some attention issues and I wanted to determine if my suspicion is accurate and if so, I would want to address it before it gets worse. After some tests, the results while not conclusive seems to point towards Lucas needing some help. I signed him on to the programme without hesitation.

Now, back to this Kiasu label. I really detest it when people call me that. I don't want to be a kiasu parent because it signals someone who is so "afraid of losing" that they compromise the needs and happiness of the child. The intention and motivation behind a kiasu parent is self-serving, and not child-centric.

I'm far far from being a kiasu parent. I don't coach him intensely at home, I don't enrol him in programmes he doesn't like, I don't pack his weekdays/ends with enrichment and I don't expect him to perform ultra fantastic results. And definitely, I don't expect to him to do extraordinarily so that I can bask in the glory. But I do expect him to do his best. And I expect myself to help him perform his best. And if he has some learning disability, then I should, as a responsible parent (and as not a kiasu parent), address that dysfunction. This is especially so when this dysfunction has becomes disruptive and self-debilitating.

I didn't bother to explain myself to the 'detractors' who commented about my 'kiasu ways'. So why do I bother to blog about it here? Because I had really given it much thought and analysis. I need to know for certain the motivation and intention behind my own actions in case I'm blinkered. Self-reflection to be sure I am doing what's best for my kids and not for myself. And I am sure I don't have the intention of turning Lucas into the next Einstein just so that I can be mommy Einstein.